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4 Responses

  1. raunchyandpaunchy says:
    October 15, 2018 at 3:26 pm

    Great build-up of tension from the aftermath of roggvir’s execution, as well as introducing Ahtar, who is clearly in shock after the morning’s events. The interplay of characters was great here too – Mariel stepping in and taking charge, Sorex cursing Roggvir out to Cyr, then asking him not to tell Corpulus.

    “Just keep the Skeever’s doors locked, and all we need to do is keep–”

    He grinned wholly without humor, his face a grotesque mask: “–our heads low.””

    Oh, this bit was just so gut-wrenchingly sinister. Ahtar has seen. Some. Shit.

    I liked the way you got around Cyrelian not actually being there for the execution, by getting Lorion to recount it and having the screenshots have a slightly more faded/patina’d look to them. I especially liked the following lines:

    “I had my head in my hands on the table, pressing on my eyeballs, listening to Lorion speak and trying to burn the vision into my mind.

    I wish I could say it was a Thalmor memory technique, but it is merely self-indulgence.”

    Ah, good to see our good friend Caelistis making a comeback, tactful and eloquent as ever. I also liked your/Cyr’s explanation of what *should* have happened to Roggvir. Always thought it was a bit shit that he just got executed for letting Ulfric in, but hey, feudalism.

    Some great little hints towards Cyr/Ahtar here – the “wife” comment, plus Cyr wanting to swoop in and protect Ahtar when shit hit the fan was actually rather sweet, if a bit hero complex-esque of Cyr. (Still, he’s an Altmer/Thalmor, that must be their thing, no?) I’m really looking forward to seeing more of them together, if Ahtar lets the stubborn elf in. (Since he’s going to help Jala with the book, I’m assuming he will. Also, I’ve read this, I know he will, but I like to write my comments this way, heh.)

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  2. Syl says:
    October 15, 2018 at 5:46 pm

    I think that some of those Thalmor are altruistic, sure, but Cyrelian certainly takes white-knighting to the n’th degree.

    Even feudal societies have process of law. It’s so irritating when all of that gets handwaved away– and some of the more primitive (heh) societies actually have very complicated procedures and protections. My favorite line out of this whole thing was: “A fair number of his own guards had decided that they did not like this precedent.”

    Oh, lord, speaking of handwaving; that was just to explain Cyrelian being in those pictures at all. There was some really creative cropping of the ones where he isn’t, too.

    This entire chapter is pants. Like, about halfway through it totally diverged from what I wanted to do– and Solitude’s mutiny was on. I honestly didn’t mean to do it, it just sort of happened.

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  3. spiney says:
    February 1, 2019 at 11:39 am

    All right, I think I’ve officially been hooked in now! The thing in this chapter that really clinched it for me is how cinematic you’re starting to get, especially starting with Lorion recounting the morning’s events. The relationship between text and image is becoming much more seamless and interdependent, and I’m really enjoying that.

    This is definitely also the point where I’m starting to become earnestly invested in the politics. I adore a good, complicated political story, and with all these threads being revealed (/unraveling) this is promising to be nice and juicy 🙂

    There were a lot of great lines in this chapter, but the one that jumps to mind right away as I reflect back is this: “Argonians laugh like gravel sliding down a mountain.” In the big picture? Maybe a throwaway, just a little aside, something that, if it wasn’t there, we wouldn’t “miss” as readers. But boy am I glad it was there. I could unpack the whole sentence for you, if you want, to show you all the little subtle things I like about it, but it’s probably enough to say that I think it’s really complex and beautiful and added a lot to the color of the scene.

    Excited to read on…

    Reply
    • Syl says:
      February 1, 2019 at 1:14 pm

      Glad you liked that little sentence; I honestly wrestled with whether to keep it in. Certainly there’s an avalanche of disaster waiting to happen whenever Jaree-Ra’s around.

      Around this time was when I started really thinking about how these shots were going to be set up. Most of the action shots aren’t scripted out because that’s nearly impossible due to the chaos in-game. In fact this entire sequence happened due to a game bug. I hadn’t actually planned for the guards to go crazy… but apparently if you step up on the dais, that can happen. So everything after this in regards to the Haafingar Incident is pants. Also there was a lot of retconning where I rewrote a bit of the preceding entries before posting.

      Reply

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